It is quite an amusement to see your child reach his growth milestones. Even the tiniest change in their mental and physical health makes our heart goes swelled up with happiness & satisfaction. We parents are always concerned about our baby’s growth. At times, we make a comparison with others. This is a healthy way of knowing whether we are succeeding as a parent or rework is required. The whole parenting is full of doubts but we have references to our elders and especially of ourselves, looking at which we can decide where are we heading in our child’s development.
Every growth of your child is a moment. I almost cried when my son took his first steps and came to hug me. My son is 15 months old. Watching him grow from being 3.1 kg cute baby to a walking 10 kg naughty boy is a mighty experience. And this is not a simple one. When he was born, and for next month or so, he kept laying in his cot with limited movements and can signal for his basic needs like feeding, cleaning, etc. I and my husband kept looking at him and imagined his words when he will start talking, his naughtiness once he will be able to walk, how he is going to love the fact that he has dimples on both of his cheeks. It was fun since we could imagine whatever we can. With all these imaginations, he continued to grow from being just-laying-there to a side-toggling baby. Within few more months, he could try to sit on his own. This physical growth was quite visible. Alongside, he was developing his brain too.
He has a transformed personality now. He can now show his emotional reactions to new arrivals at home, be it people or non-living stuff; he is learning to be a rebellion about the way he wants one particular thing to be done; he wants to be more independent, like eating on his own, changing his diapers, wearing socks and shoes, etc. He is too young for this but I like the way he is showing his inherited genes (By the way, these are my genes (mother) which I am talking about).
Here Comes the Logically Thinking
When I look back to the time he was born, I sometimes feel the time has flown too fast. He has learned too many things so quickly and one day, he will be of my age. But when I play a slow rewind button in my mind, I can see what all has happened. I can see how his grandparents, his father, aunts, and uncles, neighbours, relatives have (and are still) contributing to his learning experience. His grandmother and grandfather made him learn to fold hands before our deity. He has so much respect for God that he agrees to obey any order of mine when I tell him that God is asking him to do it. This was working fine until he was 11 months old. Then he made his own conclusion, which probably goes like, ” Hmmm! Well, I have never heard God saying all this to me. I love him and he is my friend. So, he will take my side even if I do not obey Mom”. Result – He no longer obeys me even if I involve God.
As a parent, I am confused, whether to feel happy over his developing logical thinking or worried that now I have to look for something else to make things work with him. This is just one scenario of my child outgrowing my expectation.
Presently, I am a stay-at-home mum. It is me who has the greatest impact on him. He watches me while cooking, cleaning, working with phone, laptop, putting cream on my face, combing my hair, singing, dancing over tunes. His logical brain made him do all that I do – Yes, my husband saw him sitting before a mirror and pretending to put cream on his face; he also asks me for utensils and food so he could pretend cooking. That is so cute. But then it made me think again. Should I be happy that he might be helping me with my household work or worried that people will say he has feminine qualities? I guess I should be happy 🙂
These are all complex emotions, for him and for me too but I guess everything has its right time. Like we did, he would also be able to distinguish between right and wrong as the time goes by.
How Am I responsible for this thinking?
I may or may not be tempering his brain development, but the fact is I am definitely one of his role-model. I better watch my style and attributes. In his future, he will not only be responsible for his life but of others too. So, if I ever felt that any of my action, intentionally or unintentionally, is causing a serious dent while forming his character, I make sure to put a band-aid on it. I do it by inducing numerous humanly feelings in him like I ask him to kiss his favourite soft toy whenever he excitedly throws it on the floor; I say sorry to him when I make mistake; pamper him after a light harsh tone just so that he knows I love him but something is expected of him. This goes on for whole life. That is why they say, once a parent, always a parent.
When your child kisses you for no reason
Parenthood is a tough task but your loving child made it a bit easy for you. When, out of no context at all, he leans over you to give a kiss, it shows he is happy to be your child. And believe me, it is the most loved feeling anyone could have felt because this gesture is selfless. I hope I could be successful in forming a responsible human for this planet.
Here comes my selfless kiss again.